Wrong Timing

When I graduated from High School
in 1966 losing my last 2 friends,
I had a Regents Diploma
with a Science endorsement
but had bad grades in English of course

I got a college acceptance letter.

In the Summer I
toured the college
and my Mother cried
and assumed I’d
become a Doctor
or a Physicist.

My Father hated me
more and more
because he thought
I’d succeed. He was sad
that he was an orphan
and was never loved, and
maybe his wife never
understood him, because
he always hid his feelings;
always said he had none.

I didn’t know
when I arrived
at College that
I was already dead.

I could have used only one
girlfriend.

It would have made
a big difference, but

you weren’t even born, and
I miss you as
you might have been

because I know how kind
you would have been.

I was so sad.

Nobody has ever helped me,
except with promises, and
boot straps

I don’t even know
what they are

I don’t have boots
to walk in the muck

I have no good luck.

But sometimes I feel
a glimmer of light, but

I don’t know how
to shine when

I have never been
a light

I will give you a poem, and
you will give me hope

seems like an
easy bargain, but

I don’t know, in
a moment of insignificance

the devil might have my ear
because without love, he

could offer me fame
and wealth, and

I could give it to you

and at least one person
would prosper.

I think
I would have loved you.

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