So I Die Anyway And It Seems Like a Logical Idea

The Stats page doesn’t show any interest
for this curious mixed site
unless I’ve added a poetry tag
apparently

Apparently, I don’t have
humanity, otherwise

Yeah, OK
I have to be more careful
about tags

There is a certain grace
about it

To be wild
to be noble
to be worthy of attention

Attention!
I like that word
because it translates well

But I hate it because
it can be a pejorative

Without it
I am slowly
disappearing

Well, so
I never cared about a legacy

I only ever wanted to live.

And apparently I can’t.

I can’t believe how I’ve wasted so much time. Since my Mother died on June 11 I’ve been living in luxury in her apartment near the beach. They have been trying to evict me ever since because she paid rent, and the rest of the building is a condo or is it a co-op, I don’t know. They have refused my rent payments and I’ve had many court appearances now. I have another on October 24. Theoretically, I should have used all this time in luxury to write something profound and … but it only seems like plan Z is logical which is suicide. I have no purpose and possibility of accomplishing anything worthwhile… I’ve been given more time and yet I don’t see any likelihood of success. Hey, from June I’ve been given a lot of time and I’ve accomplished nothing. So I should plan some sort of dignified death. Nothing is going to work. Everybody tells me that. It’s not happening. Yes, I guess they’re right.