A Sample of Santa Claus (Draft 1)

A Sample of Santa Claus

Mommy works in a forensic lab
but I’m so sad she let me leave
cookies and milk for Santa to retrieve

Mommy’s known in a forensic lab
but I’m a moan to her gabbing friends

Why I’m upset:
Left cookies and milk
and my detective set

Mommy works in a forensic lab
but I’m so sad

Her friends from work
came to our Christmas party
said I was cute, and I am so sorry

I became a school-project pest
asked her friend to do a test

Thought it was cute that
I had saliva and hair for her,
and she took it for real
to the lab with zeal

Mommy paces in a forensic lab
and I’m disgraced by DNA traces

Mitochondrial is human
nuclear is hominid hidden

Mom’s friend has submitted a paper
and her peers in a pear tree will reveal
on the last day of Christmas thus
what true love is or is not

and if they can let it be published
I will cry because the world will know
Santa and Daddy are Big Foot.

— Douglas Gilbert

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