I’m Really Tired (Draft 1)

I’m Really Tired

I’m really tired of Nature —
there is no nature when I close my eyes

I drift into a quiet spiral
where there are no noisy
birds or circadas or fog horns
or horns of dilemmas or
hysterical noise of impending doom

The crickets and circadas
are inarticulate, and
I have not time
for language courses
or ornithology expositions

I think the spirit has no leaves
nor bark

I’ve known happy blind people
happy deaf people, so

It must be somehow that
happiness doesn’t depend on
flowers or music

But I have never known anyone

So what would I know
except loneliness
and silence.

— Douglas Gilbert