From The Sidelines (Draft 1)

From The Sidelines

I don’t know why
I can’t fly

I had the dreams of the super-hero
because I so much wanted to love everyone
and help, though you are a special case,

but when a fool has no power
or a Hollywood studio
with special effects
at their wreck and call,

there is only the drab
loveless existence in
the fantasy of being alive, and

how could I be alive
if you could never love me
as I am,

as I speak
as if I were deep

and I can not be
anything

while these
silly things

that don’t
let me be, that
don’t let me sing are
extant

because I have
never known how

to speak
what I know
about Love, and

I could be loved
if I could speak
what I know:
a tiny bit of wisdom
that only I feel must be
somehow relevant to the one
who waits for my message, but

I don’t want to be a pawn of the universe

I want to know her now
so that I can speak at last
the secret message

I don’t want to be a puzzle piece.

I want to reach the love that is mine
just because I am me, and

why can’t the Universe
let me love, even if

I’m not a super-hero.

— Douglas Gilbert