Why Can’t Deer Dance (Draft 1)

Why Can’t Dear Dance

Why Can’t Deer Dance?

Oh Dear Deer,
I’d buy you a car
if you’d

cross at the traffic light
and not

hoof it across the road
into my car,

if you’d tap dance carefully,
it would be better
for the both of us.

— Douglas Gilbert


6 thoughts on “Why Can’t Deer Dance (Draft 1)

  1. I wonder if they could have lights pointed into the forest to scare them towards a deer bridge or tunnel? And I suppose it could double as a pedestrian overpass or underpass for nature walks etc.? Oh, well, I guess that couldn’t be done because it would have to be awfully tall for trucks, I guess they’d be afraid to use an underpass? I don’t know. Seems like they could find a solution. A motion detector that sees them coming towards the road some distance into the forest that could trigger a sign or warning light on the highway? Well, I guess that would be too difficult: might trigger traffic accidents that would kill people…

  2. Oh I love it, those deer really need to stay out of the roads. Tap dancing should only be done in the woods on big rocks or something. I’ve seen natural land overpasses before online but never in our area. They would really be helpful if the animals got used to where they were and used those instead of trying to cross on the pavement. Of course they would probably cost a lot to build and I don’t see the government wanting to put money into something like that when a lot of our bridges and roadways need to be repaired. I’m pretty shook up from the whole ordeal. And I went for an estimate on my car today and they only want to paint the side that’s damaged. I think they should paint the whole car because as soon as the wax job wears off that I just had done then the 12 year old paint is going to look really funny next to the brand new paint on one side.

    1. Thanks. It’s kind of odd: they’ve been collecting gasoline taxes for years and each year they say that money goes to repairing roads and bridges but somehow it doesn’t. For several years now they’ve been saying they were going to repair roads and bridges to create jobs, but it hasn’t happened. The money was obviously diverted to something else… highway to the Memorial Frog Museum for Senator_____. Well, you know how big trucks have little signs on the back which say “Pass on the Left”(on the left side) and “Danger: do not pass here”. So you’d be doing the same thing with your two colors: maybe the right could be bright red with a big sign: “You’re passing on the wrong side. I CAN’T SEE YOU, I CAN’T HEAR YOU. careful and have a nice day.” oh and the left side could be green. Maybe if it’s two tone, nobody will want to steal it. Hmm, I think I heard that there’s a “Highway Trust Fund” like the “Social Security Trust Fund.” But they’re actually empty and filled with I.O.U.’s like bonds that they’ve bought(like lending money to other parts of the government). So technically they’re not empty because the bonds are sitting there. But in order to redeem those bonds and get the money back from wherever it went, congress has to appropriate new money which they borrow from around the world (countries buy our bonds). Maybe they could pave the roads with bonds and paper-mâché.

  3. I’ve wondered that myself! Although we are actually getting some new bridges here right now (our roads never get caught up on repairs and I think they’ve been doing construction on the Watterson Expressway since I was a little kid). But our bridges were in bad shape. I guess they realized if they didn’t build something soon we may not be able to cross the river anymore and I’m pretty sure that would seriously damper the local economy. Although I bet they’ve built a lot of memorial frog museums too. Hmm…maybe I can just ask them if they can paint that side a different color so it’ll at least look like it was done that way on purpose.
    it’s kind of sad that all we have is bunches of bonds that other countries buy. I get so confused about our monetary system, it seems like a lot of loop holes.

    1. Yeah, just re-reading this I got very confused. But I guess it’s like this: they set up a “Trust Fund” in one part of the Government, which originally has real money in it, and then that part of the Government which has the “Trust Fund” lends all that real money to another part of the Government which spends it on irrelevant other things. After all the real money is spent and gone, another part of the Government borrows money from the rest of the world. I think that’s what’s going on. It’s confusing because all those fancy transactions require a blizzard of documents and papers, some fancy certificates with various names. And then when they have to pay back the money they borrowed or pay interest on what they borrowed on a certain day when they have no money, they just borrow more with a different name due on a future date. Some day I suppose the world will say we can’t lend you any more money and now just pay us back now with real money. The funny thing is that while there’s chaos, people in the world with savings or earnings they can’t spend right away, are afraid to put their money in any local bank in their own country and so send their money to the US(lending it to us in different forms). When they need their money, they expect to be able to get it back. Sure, we’ll give it to them by borrowing from someone else. This is OK as long as not everyone demands their money back at the same time. But eventually we’ll run out of new places to borrow from. And then worse, in complicated ways with new blizzards of documents, some of the people who lend us money have gotten that money by borrowing it from somewhere else. The US lends money to poor countries so they can build things etc., but that money we borrowed. The thing has to collapse eventually.
          Maybe you can paint flowers on the side of the car… well, maybe not, somebody might think you’re a florist and honk at you trying to order flowers delivered.

      1. So pretty much, almost no one has any real money. We’re all just living on borrowed funds? Doesn’t sound very secure to me.
        Flowers would be very pretty though. A little garden on the side of my car. Couple of birds and bees to give it even more of a nature type feel. It’d be one of those Art Cars you see sometimes. I’d probably like that more than running around in a two-tone car that looks like you tried to blend a mistake but couldn’t quite get it right.

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