Which Morning Shall I Remember (Draft 1)


Which Morning Shall I Remember (Draft 1)

6:18 and the production of me.
Maybe I don’t like me this new day.

I’ve got a claw on my
glass of whiskey and orange juice, and

I think like I might be alive, because
I remember I had so many dreams, and

I don’t mean the nightmares I have now,

no, I mean, I used to be human,
I used to sing, or I thought so.

If I fall asleep again,
I will have a nightmare.

I don’t think I ever want to sleep again.
I think I want to speak like a filibuster, because
I want to speak my heart as if

I mattered, a little

a little silly

sometimes I could dance
and sometimes I felt human

sometimes someone loved me
and I wanted to leap into the air
like I could fly and the angels
would catch me if I fell, but

there is nobody who ever
caught me when I fell

I just feel bruised, and
everything hurts more
and more

And it is not a recommenced
disease

— Douglas Gilbert

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One thought on “Which Morning Shall I Remember (Draft 1)

  1. You matter to me…you’ve always mattered to me.
    I’m sorry you have nightmares and that your dealing with such sadness. It’s pretty early for whiskey, even if there’s orange juice involved. If I could take away your nightmares and replace them with the happiest of dreams, I would. Sadly though, I think I’m in the same boat as you. No one has ever caught me when I fell either. None of my dreams have ever came true and every person I thought loved me was just lying to me in a bunch of different ways. I just try to wear myself out enough that I don’t remember dreams or nightmares anymore. I guess we just have to keep on pushing on and hoping for the miracle of happiness to come along one day. I’m sending a hug and kiss through the air for your bruises, I hope you feel better…

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