Saving Shakespeare (Draft 1)

Saving Shakespeare (Draft 1)

You told me to study Shakespeare, and I’ve
been really trying, but it’s archaic, and I
don’t know why I would love you more
if you were an ancient poem, were
exactly an iambic pentameter;
oh ancient god don’t make my love
worship you because
I love her more than
you could ever know, and
ancient or not, I will
draw my sword and slay you
if you should ever harm my greatest love.

Yes, I am determined to be powerful,
and I will find whatever secret I need
to save my Love.

My Dearest love,
even if it’s the last thing I do
I will rhyme your name into my
last and every song so
there will be so many echos that
forever everyone will love you
like I do

— Douglas Gilbert

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Avian Translation (Draft 1)

Avian Translation (Draft 1)

I’ve always wanted to speak
to the smaller birds, so
I’ve done a lot of weird whistling

Sometimes a little birdie cocks her head
and tries to see if I’m a threat or a bird benevolent,
but I’m neither a mate nor predator, just
a conversationalist

So I whistle something which means
“give tomatoes to Owls, like Caesar.”

And she says, “Huh, what? And
for a Human you don’t look so bad
even though you have no feathers.
Why is it that you can’t fly?
It’s so easy.”

And I said, “Why is it that
you can’t speak and write novels.”

“Well, then,” it said, “have you written one lately?”

And I said, “Um, no…”

And it said in a way that I think it meant kindly that
I was a birdbrain.

— Douglas Gilbert

I Suppose (Draft 2)

I Suppose (Draft 2)

I suppose the day is long
and you will skip along with me
just because I’m cute like you.

I know a stream where
there are interesting things

Look there, hey
I see a splash, but

could there be
a ripple in your dimple

I’m just fishing

Catch me,
when I put the rod down
put the rod up

Well, actually
it’s the swimming conversation
and the thoughts on the water
that ripple, and I
don’t care if there
are no fish, except for
would-be drama of fresh fish
on the camp fire.

We can go to the supermarket
and then fry or bake, yeah
I have a recipe for Love at home.

— Douglas Gilbert

Sunrise (Draft 1)

Sunrise (Draft 1)

If you knew what the sunrise
really meant to me, when we

looked in the colors of us, and
when I felt like I could sing into the
rose of the sunrise, and knew
your thorns were not for me, then,

I know you wanted to be bold
and seize me in your arms

because I know you know
I’m kind and wouldn’t crush you
in my embrace

and neither will you prick me
because you are not the rose bush
but the flower who in many colors
loves me when you

arise in a divinity
we can share
in our garden.

— Douglas Gilbert

Wow, this is weird: now they tell me I got the spelling wrong from what? — a year ago or something…

Wow, this is weird. I get a notice that something I did a long time ago is not acceptable:
“Dear Douglas Gilbert,

The Lulu Quality Assurance Team has identified the following issues with your eBook
Doug and the Foxes Do Short Short Stories And Poetry (Project CONTENT ID: 12469833)
that prevent us from forwarding it to our retail partners and making it available for purchase through those channels.
* Your eBook has been rejected for improper capitalization. The first letter of all words in the title, subtitle and author name should be capitalized, except for the following words: a, an, and, for, from, of, or, the, to. The first and last word of the title and subtitle should always be capitalized….”

Well OK. So I think they’re saying that both “ands” in the title should be small letters. So I try to revise it and it says that the title can’t be changed because it’s already been registered with an ISBN number with the government and the title name and author name is frozen. So I make a new project with a new title and ask for a new ISBN number. I take out all the and’s because I don’t want to deal with it etc.
So even after all that I go to amazon and find the the original one with the misspelling is offered for sale. Huh?
http://www.amazon.com/Doug-Foxes-Short-Stories-Poetry-ebook/dp/B00LSYG1UA

Geez, it’s so silly and it’s only 15 pages and it’s free. And I had totally forgotten it because it was so long ago and trivial…