Ode to Sloopy (Draft 8)

Ode to Sloopy (Draft 8))

Oh my neighborhood is blessed,
so sweet the streets, so
why do I mourn, look down the other road
in the town where I

see so few caresses
paved on grand roads, just
tangled streets without joy
without proper signs
without you?

And I could have loved you
so easily if you were in
my class at school, and
my illegal notes would have said

I am not fulfilled with
just my toys. Joyce dear dream,
with the pony tail and smile,
play with silly me like
you love me.

But now that
I’ve grown
now that I moan

can I give you my map
to find me, though there’ve
been so many years?

There’s a song and I say Hello

Joyce babe, oh
you’ve known the song so
don’t fall off the mountain;
hang on to an edge,
hang on to a love to be
that should have been.

Oh baby I don’t know why
your Daddy puts you down
and why you must stay with cockroaches
in your part of town

Oh baby, can you cross the border
’cause there’d be no disorder
if you’d wait for me,
only wait for me

I know there’s a cliff
where everyone dis’s you

But baby don’t fall;
I’ve got the rockin’ gear
and the pinions of a mountain climb

I know you’re on a cliff, but
hang on

I will hoist you up to God, and
maybe He will share you with me

because I want to save you, and
my rescue ropes are of joy. We will

cross the border
and climb a better mountain
beyond outrageous stones
those devils throw

How can they know
your kind heart
if they’d be mocking birds.

Let me sing to you of
sweet rescue, because
don’t we both need to
climb to a heaven we need
so desperately

I think we are good
to hang on for love

because never would I
want you to be anywhere
but on my street if
you love me, or

even if you don’t.

— Douglas Gilbert

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3 thoughts on “Ode to Sloopy (Draft 8)

  1. I like all the new changes. Your additions to the beginning really add to the tone of the rest of the poem. Your neighborhood does sound sweet! And all those tangled streets without proper signs in the other town are hard to navigate alone. I like the ponytail and smile! I wear those almost every day to work…but I’ve been wondering if maybe I should cut my hair (?) it’s long and has a lot of curls. I’d play with you, even now that you’re grown and moan every once and awhile…’cause you still have a side that makes me giggle and warms my heart into a smile

    1. Thanks very much. yeah, I thought a little bit of detail could flavor the poem. Well, I don’t know — I’m not an expert on hair styles, but it seems to me if you wear a ponytail and a smile most days, then hair curls would be like surfing and they could hang in a noble way like the tease of the day, and wouldn’t that be cute. Everything depends on how heaven combs when the shampoo is glorious. Many modes of softness, many curls in the ocean, and the seagulls pick on their feathers like prima donnas even though everyone knows they are beautiful.

      1. You make me feel good when you talk all sweetly poetic about my soft curls…wish you were here to twirl one around your finger and dance it like a wave over my shoulder. I’m trying to plan a vacation but can’t decide where to go, but somewhere with seagulls sounds perfect to me…the only thing that could be more perfect would be if you were going with us, we could plant our feet in sand and grow and glow together in the Sunshine…

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