Laughing (Draft 2)

Laughing (Draft 2)

Why do they tell me
I don’t know how to love.

I don’t want to twitter
or fritter away a sob.

Sometimes I feel like
every tear of mine
is a drop of my essence

and I want you
to have a cup
to capture me kindly

and if you drink of me
I won’t mind if you laugh in joy, because

you see
my life as a loving game

I think I could be truly amusing
and so much so that, I’d do

what I always wanted to do
and laugh into your arms, because

I know you have always loved me
though I don’t know how to cry
don’t know how to laugh, but

I think maybe
a jumble of emotion
would be fun

with a cocktail, a gentle kiss,
your passion flurry and a wonder-storm

— Douglas Gilbert


3 thoughts on “Laughing (Draft 2)

  1. This is wonderful, i think it’s clearer now somehow, maybe it’s the change from ‘they’ to ‘you’. I think your comment on my other reply helped. I think a jumble of emotion would be fun too, especially with a gentle kiss and passion flurry, it sounds very exciting. The new ending is great I like the wonder storm a lot too…

    1. Thanks very much. I think your previous comment helped me to think about exactly what I was trying to say. I used to just post when I was finished but sometimes I used to throw away first drafts that I didn’t like. This multiple draft thing seems to work better because I’m saving more poems that would have been thrown away.

      1. Well I don’t think you should throw anything away. All of your writing is good, even the first drafts. But I see what you mean about the drafts. Maybe I’ll write something soon, i’ve had a bit of a block going on…my back has been hurting and so has my heart and my head. I swear, i’m a scatterbrained mess half the time. But i have a four day weekend so maybe I’ll come up with something…

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