Gentle (Draft 5)


Since you’ve flown I miss your hugs
and when your thoughts do tug at me

it seems like you are the moon
that pulls my tidal wave, and yet

I know for sure when you think of me
I feel it like a gentle breeze. Yes I know

whenever you send an ethereal kiss
I miss you so much again, your elegance
the delicate touch.

I know if I could seize the wind just now
you’d come home and embrace me for sure
an endowment, this calm of love

So pretty gentle things

— Douglas Gilbert


4 thoughts on “Gentle (Draft 5)

  1. The rhythm is perfect with all of your smaller added words, it has such a nice flow to it. I like the added elegance and “an endowment, this calm of love”. Oh, this is just so beautiful, I love it. so much.

    1. Well, I’m stunned. I think you give me the courage to put this aside and maybe keep it exactly as it is. I don’t know what happens: sometimes I read it and it flows nicely and other times it seems off. I guess I should wait awhile until I can read it as a stranger and not the author. I wasn’t so sure about the balance of metaphors: hug and tidal wave are strong things, and breeze and kiss are more gentle. I wasn’t sure if I put everything in the right order and in the right coupling. It’s a difficult conflict to analyze and then to feel and let go. I don’t always trust feelings if I can’t analyze it. A poem can feel good to me and then turn out to be crumby to someone else or to me when I read it again.
          So, anyway, thanks very much.

      1. You’re welcome. You know, you and I are a lot alike in many ways but then we’re opposite in others. I guess maybe I’m a little naive because when I feel something I trust that to be true without much analyzing…simply because I feel it, so it is true to me. Maybe I should start questioning things more. It probably would be a lot wiser for me to start being more analytical. In fact, that would probably have kept me out of many different predicaments i’ve faced during my life. Oh well…at this point, it’s probably too late for me to rework the way my brain thinks but I do think I love this poem and I’m going to just enjoy it because it really is beautiful…

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