The Mind of Us (Draft -1) [very awkward]

The Mind of Us

So reveal to me
this naked love you have for me, because

don’t you know I have
so many naked things to say

and these sacred desires
are nothing but a love dream, because

you were always
floating on my stream

and if you would splash me,
girl you’d be so delicious, because
there is a hunger, and I know
many times I could love you in my mind

seems like some dream might
actually be a

many faceted love like
the gem of me ordinarily
but for you, as I wish it
magnificent with its gleam

so when you scream
I will hold your happiness in my arms
and I won’t mind at all
when we cry

Can’t you tell me
say that love is not a grand surprise

you were always a surprise
and can you be my wonder prize.

— Douglas Gilbert

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3 thoughts on “The Mind of Us (Draft -1) [very awkward]

  1. Good morning – you are my favorite way to start the day…this is beautiful and I think it’s going to be a wonderful day because of you. I suppose love isn’t a grand surprise because it just happens so naturally, like the gentle flowing of water over the rocks in a stream – that is the way it flows and goes, whether it’s water or love. Oh, well I guess my coffee hasn’t quite kicked in, but I’m trying to splash you a little bit and I’d be your wonder prize any day…

    1. Thanks very much. It’s sort of like Willie Nelson’s “You Were Always on My Mind”. I guess I should go look at it to to make sure this is very different. I hope I didn’t accidentally copy a phrase… Oh gee I hope not… No, i think it’s just the rhythm and I think “in my mind” is a common enough expression and it is “in” here instead of “on”… and the context is different?
          Anyway, I’m so glad you’re going to have a good day. I like how you said “that’s the way it flows and goes”

      1. I see what you mean, it is slightly similar that song, but not so much that I think anyone would notice, I mean, i didn’t notice until you said something and I went back again looking for it. Actually I think ‘in my mind’ is more intimate sounding than ‘on my mind’. It sounds more intricately connected.
        It was a beautiful day – even the weather was lovely. The sun was shining, birds were singing, it was warm (compared to what it has been) I think Spring is just around the corner…

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