Waiting For The Moon (I want to feel as if I ever mattered)

Waiting For The Moon (Draft 2)[I Want to Feel As If I ever Mattered (Draft 2)

I buy my songs about ping-pong love
with a ding-dong coin in the wishing well

I’d love to buy you a love song
if the fountain conspiracy would
charge me as a friend of yours, and
give me a melody I could sing for you.

I know how much you listen
know how much you care.

There’d be music they’d
ask me to verify for you

and I’d be a musical reference for you and me
because I have died so many times, and

wanted to revive in the fields of you

so much wanted to grow

so much wanted to know
why you were over there

and I was over here

seems like there’d be music
if the Sun would dance with the Moon,

but if they can’t download me
I will touch you on the shoulder

surprise!

— Douglas Gilbert

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3 thoughts on “Waiting For The Moon (I want to feel as if I ever mattered)

  1. I like all of your changes…The beginning two lines with the wishing well go nicely with the the fountain conspiracy. I also like the change to ‘you’ in the line ‘I’d love to buy you a love song’, seems like a gift. I love the surprise ending with the touch on the shoulder, very exciting.

    1. Thanks. It’s a very odd evolution from vague to nice-vague. I don’t know though, about who is the Sun and who is the Moon because it’s sort of an insult in a way if one is passive and one is active. I’m not sure about how that metaphor is supposed to work… well, yeah, I’m not sure about anything… I’m running with notions and not sure if any are potions. I’m running with rhymes and getting all twisted…

      1. hmmm…well I think running with rhymes and notions is most likely safer than running with scissors, or with bulls. (giggling) sorry, i was just trying to think of other things people run with. But i like it when you run with rhymes and notions. Hmm…i don’t know if it’s really an insult to be passive, i mean sometimes it’s just the natural way of things i guess? It takes all kinds, ehh…i think i need to let my coffee kick in a little more.

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