I Don’t Want To Know (Draft 4)

I Don’t Want To Know (Draft 4)

I don’t want to know
if you love me anymore.

I don’t want to know why
you ran out in the snow.

Just tell me that you’re safe
and you made it to your refuge
and I can be your rescue if you ask.

I can be everything if you’d ask

I don’t want to know
if you love me anymore
because if you go far away

I want you to take my heart
and beat every sorrow down
like we used to do in the grass.

Oh you used to love me, and
can you take me as a charm

Be well because always
I love you as you are

and you know dear honey babe
I don’t want to know
if you love me anymore

be well
and think of me in your dreams
because I love you
like I did
and always, but well

I do want to know
if you love me
like you did, ‘cause

I remember you
in the fondness of my dreams

Can you kiss me,(no?)
can you kiss me

I don’t want to know
if you miss me, because

I miss you so much.

— Douglas Gilbert

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7 thoughts on “I Don’t Want To Know (Draft 4)

  1. With words as beautiful as these I would kiss you…like a hundred times! Well, if you were here i would, anyways. I guess I’ll just have to save my kisses. I love this poem, I like the new changes, adding the ‘but well’ and changing the because to ’cause’ and adding the (no?) makes it seem more like a conversation or natural way of speaking…

    1. Thanks great. I wanted to fix the contradictions and I think it finally allows the “I don’t want to know” and the “I do want to know.” It’s been bothering me that it was going both ways without a transition and now I think it works better. So I’ll be able to include it in my new short book. The big one was sort of silly because no one is going to buy that one, well, except ambassadors from the League of Benevolent Galaxies…

      1. hmmm…well then, I feel honored to have the same book that the ambassadors from the League of Benevolent Galaxies have – thank you! But yeah, it does seem to transition better now, seems a bit more polished. I still love the way the ‘miss me’ and ‘kiss me’ sounds together…

    2. Thanks. Yes, just in general I like hearing such positive things. I feel so incredibility stupid lately because I felt so extravagant to buy an i-pod for music and now I can’t figure out how to download music using my PayPal account. I’m such an idiot just doing desperate stuff because i want my music and I want to dance as if I were real and all this debris is such a dust storm of things that make me sneeze in the wrong direction. Oh God, I so much hate being alive because I have so much to say and no easy avenue to express something that I feel is so much greater than “small talk”.

      1. You aren’t an idiot, don’t feel stupid because those kind of things can get pretty complicated and confusing. I have an ipod (somewhere) that I used to use several years ago when i worked out at the gym. It was one of those tiny ones not much bigger than a quarter. But i never downloaded music from the itunes site onto it. I just used the music files on my computer that I uploaded from cds etc. So I really have no clue about the payment stuff…apple should have a FAQ page for payment questions somewhere. I’m still kind of old-fashioned…I buy cds or i’ll find the song I want to hear on youtube. I just want to dance too…but my neck and back has been weird for over a week now and I can only do one or two songs before it starts hurting too much. It moved down from my neck to the center of my back. Earlier I soaked in a hot bath for a while and that seemed to help some. But I did get ‘hooked’ on one of the Delaney and Bonnie songs you listed that you liked – it’s been added to my dance routine and maybe i’ll get it worked out to surprise you with before too long.

    3. Oh sorry. That is so incoherent. I just wanted to vent somewhere I suppose. So many bad omens it seems. I went into Manhattan on the Long Island Railroad, early, to avoid everybody, went to the Apple store on 57th street where I thought they would explain everything… but anyway coming back there were signal problems and all the trains were shut down. I had to take the subway to Jamaica(part way home) which I had forgotten how to do and I was a wreck although the Police were at the stop where you could get a transfer to the Long Island Railroad again to continue on your way etc. The whole thing was supposed to be very simple. It all seemed like one bad omen after another. I can’t even seem to do just simple things. Maybe I’ll just hibernate until spring. Oh God, I like how sometimes I feel clever in my writing and thinking but I’m so incompetent in simple daily living and talking. It required me to make one faux pas after another to ask how to get home with all the trains not working.Oh God, I was so angry with the LIRR information guy when I was talking and he says “I don’t have any more time for this…”. They said there was a “temporary” shut down and I said what does that mean: an hour or more? He says, we weren’t told: could be an hour or 15 minutes. I waited a half hour and then I took the subway to where I could continue. And while I was sitting in the waiting room just in case things started up again, I see him talking to this woman for a long time expaining everything to her and all the details and alternatives. It’s not so simple for people or tourists who don’t know the subway system. I’ve been on it so it’s not impossible, but I can imagine that for tourists and other people it was probably a disaster. they were told by a friend: take this train and don’t worrry. And then the train is not running at all…Well, so I’m glad he took a long time with her, but still I resent the fact that he dismissed me so fast because I should know….

      1. Well you can vent to me anytime. That sounds horrible! I would be so lost. I think i just want to hibernate til spring too. I’ve only been on a Subway a couple times when I went to Chicago a few years ago. It was pretty confusing so I don’t know what I would do if they were re-routing trans etc…That guy sounds rude at the train station. To say he didn’t have time for this…i mean, isn’t that what he’s getting paid to do? Well I’m sorry you’ve had a rough time today. It does sound really confusing…

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