Guessing (Draft -2)

Guessing (Draft -2)

Oh a lot less guessing
when you tell me directly
that you love me like an essence

Oh it’s best if it’s no jest
’cause I’ve been thinking
I’ve been hoping
I’ve been knowing

Tell me that you know me
tell me that you love me

Tell me
tell me
tell me

tell me that you know me

do I
do I know you

do you know me

It’s been so hard
it’s been so easy

Tell me
tell me
tell me

Tell me what I know

Sing me

It’s been so hard
it’s been so easy

Can we talk about music
just because I love your voice

and if you’d teach me to sing
I think I’d know you better

Tell me
tell me
tell me

Tell me that you love me
just because you think
I’m good at guessing

and I’m guessing
you’ll want to mess around with me

Tell me
tell me
tell me

And there’s something you know
something I know

I know you
you know me

Tell me
tell me
tell me

You, you, you
I tell you everything

If you knew me
you’d cry
and it would be
so good
just because
I’m in you already
and you know me

just guessing.

— Douglas Gilbert


6 thoughts on “Guessing (Draft -2)

  1. OK, this is a really weird shallow thing. It seems like it says nothing like a song whose lyrics no one can hear and no one would care about. I don’t know how to lift such shallow things from a negative 2 rating into something that reaches the exalted rating of a Draft 0 and beyond. Well anyway as long as I’m writing stuff good and bad, it might be interesting to see what scribbled stuff gets rejected in a process to something better. Some of the notion potions just don’t work…

    1. Well i think it says a lot because before i was even halfway through the poem I had tears in my eyes. But what good is knowing and what good are tears if it’s all for nothing? I’ll teach you to sing if you want…and i liked ‘and I’m guessing you’ll want to mess around with me’ it made me feel a little shy for some reason though and now that i’m over my teary moments it’s making me smile. This does seem lyrical though, with the ‘tell me’ being repeated. I think it’s way better than a -2 rating…

      1. Thanks. Well, before I thought about it too much, I had some good feelings about it.. So maybe in the future I’ll flesh it out a little — sometimes just starting on something, even an outline, is better than doing nothing… Although I do much prefer the instant masterpiece from one of the Muses except that they extract a price and want a sample of all human pleasures and an avocado song played with a lyre. They seem to harp on a few minor subjects and they don’t always like the antipasto I bring to the party. Anchovies on cheese crackers, capers and onion, with Caponata I would think would be sufficient.

  2. I’ve never ate Caponata before but maybe they have a sweet tooth and weren’t in the mood for antipasto? I made these absolutely delicious peanut butter/chocolate bars yesterday…i took about 3/4 of them to work so I wouldn’t be bad and eat them all (ha!). The guys at work all loved them so I bet the Muses would love them too, well unless they have a peanut allergy…that wouldn’t be good, maybe we should ask for medical histories just to be on the safe side. Yeah, i tried to start working on something but i gave up on it when it didn’t seem to be what I wanted to say…i’m feeling frustrated and easily annoyed with my own writing lately.

    1. Oh good, I could give peanut butter/chocolate bars to the Muses rather than a human sacrifice and a goat head with a cantaloupe.
          Yes, I understand the feeling of not being able to express one’s self

      1. Oh, umm, well…if they really wanted a human sacrifice and a goat head with a cantaloupe then we better not just offer them peanut butter/chocolate bars…that could offend them or something and i think that’s the last thing we’d want to do. I mean, they are a good treat but perhaps not THAT good…Maybe just sending them a batch as a friendship gesture would be nice, you know without asking for a whole huge masterpiece in return…let them know we’re thinking of them and hope they’re doing good. Then maybe they’ll send us a little poetic thank you and a smile.

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