What Was (Draft 1)

What Was (Draft 1)

Oh if you wouldn’t hate me anymore
I’d love you like I did
just because I remember

Oh I don’t know why
we couldn’t be alive
with the frolic and
the mild tonic

Didn’t it seem mellow
such a gentle pillow, when

didn’t we lay down
in the meadow of forever

I thought so, but

you never call me anymore
and I think you’re gone

and I don’t like forever,
I don’t like never

— Douglas Gilbert

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3 thoughts on “What Was (Draft 1)

  1. I like the way mellow and pillow and meadow sound together…and i liked ‘didn’t we lay down in the meadow of forever’ it’s really pretty sounding. I don’t hate you, i don’t think anyone could hate you. Yeah…i don’t like never either…

    1. Thanks. I wasn’t even aware I was stumbling into interesting sounds but maybe my intuition in poetry is getting better… I still haven’t finished rating things and putting them in order… and that’s just the old ones and now I’m writing new ones… hmm, maybe I have enough. I made a copy of my previous book so I have the template and form and shouldn’t have to think about it too much — just paste into the copy and erase any I’m not going to carry over. Pair similar themes — I don’t know. I’m so tired I think I’ll just jumble it together.

      1. I think your poetic intuition is perfect. I was thinking about these lines ‘you never call me anymore and I think you’re gone’. I feel that way too about someone but I think it’s even harder for girls because we were taught that the guys are supposed to call us first and if they don’t, then they aren’t interested…
        Yeah I can see how it would be a lot of work, I’ve never made a poetry book but i bet it’s very time consuming, good luck.

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