Cook Book (Draft 2)

Cook Book (Draft 2)

I had been trying to be a shooting star
in some quadrant of the sky where she’d
been dreaming of me I hope, and then
she found me in my favorite coffee shop, and
I knocked over my coffee cup, but
she smiled when I touched her hand, and
I watched her finish a morsel of food
as if it were me and she said don’t worry.

I bought a cook book
and invited her over
And I loved when I made her apple pie
even though I prefer cherry and peach
just because she noticed my cinnamon

and she wanted to teach me
how to bake love

so I so much wanted
her to be the chef
if we could cook together.

But I didn’t mind, because
we were both taking off our hats
and stirring thoroughly in the nude sauce
helping each other crush
the spices in a giant vat with
our bodies letting juices ferment

— Douglas Gilbert

7 thoughts on “Cook Book (Draft 2)

    1. I love your tenses. So beautiful to make things. And I wish I were as beautiful as I write, because I want to be my words and not be as I am actually. Sometimes I love my imaginary self and then I wake up to something else, but I’ve got great words all ready for me and it’s so exciting to shout into the world as if someone were listening and as if I mattered. Sometimes I feel like even the wind can’t hear me and I’m going to blow away.

      1. Your imaginary self is part of your real self right? I love your imaginary self but I’m sure I would love your real self too. The beauty and words has to come from somewhere. I remember you saying many years ago you didn’t see why you couldn’t write poetry like characters in a play…and that’s a lovely idea, must help keep the creative juices flowing. I do love to listen to you and you do matter to me, but I guess i shouldn’t have believed that you actually truthfully meant the things that you write when ‘in character’. I guess that was silly and stupid of me…

    2. Oh I’m sorry. I really like you. It’s just that I’m so old and awkward and autistic and in the real world I can barely maintain a conversation. I do OK when I have time to compose a message and that could take days so I’m articulate in slow motion and emotional in slow motion. I didn’t mean to hurt you but I’ve been an empty person for so long that I have difficulty believing in dreams and when I walk outside I have less and less confidence that I know how to talk to anyone even in the simplest way. Too much time has gone by for me to think that anything could get better. I’ve tried in my awkward way to have a life but it doesn’t appear like it’s going to happen. I guess I never really knew how stupid I was. I just spouted pseudo-intellectual things and silly facts I read but I never really understood anything.
          Anyway, you’re not stupid or silly ever. You’re a very supportive person and you love your son so much. And you love your flowers and pet and the world.
          I’ve loved everything you’ve ever said. I don’t want you to think ever that you’re silly or stupid. I’m coming to the end of life having accomplished nothing and it’s certainly not your fault and not due to your lacking any charm.
          Well, anyway, I don’t know what else to say, but I’m sorry because I feel like you’ve been hurt. Yeah, I really hope my imaginary self can become my real self… I don’t know how to remake myself when it is so broken and defective… I’ve read about what a real person is supposed to be like but I can’t seem to construct such a person…

      1. Sorry i didn’t write much in my reply and I’ll be back to comment on your new poem in a little while. I’m getting ready to take my son trick or treating with his friend…it was canceled last night because of storms. But it’s much prettier today so I’m kinda glad they postponed it.

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