Ain’t (afterpost-Revision 2)

Ain’t (revised 2)

Hell no sunshine when she’s left away signs
sorrow’s moody glow and bad omen ways

Hell no hunshine when she’s left
know no be when I am cold

I am gone and dark
no way happy lark, and
her feather has flown bereft.

Should I not be dark in sorrow’s moody glow
if she’s gone away in stolen nights too
taken sunshine days away in cloudy haze
and in maze of labyrinthine pain.

Say I know no honeshine when she’s away
left me streetlight shadows of sharp dismay

Hell no honeyshine
if she’s away parading,
know no be when I am not.

If there’d be no strutting sunshine
am I not so moody cool in shadow’s way.

Hell a darkshine when she remains away
sorrow’s mood illuminates the way, and

if she’s taken fools and done me old,
hell no sunshine ’cause she’s cold.

Have no happyshine from my youth
she is young and so aloof.

If my wisdom leaves her cold
she is young and oh so bold,
hell no sunshine when I’m alone.

I know she knows she is
young and free

Wish her well and then I’ll see
oh child you will be
so happy without me

And
hell no sunshine
when she remains away

Doesn’t want to see me dead
would want to gallivant instead

Hell no sunshine when she’s left
know no be when I am cold, oh

Yes I know, and knowing’s divine
but I miss her every day
don’t want her distant zones, ’cause
hell no sunshine when I’m alone
and though I’m bold, I am

sending young things away
’cause I know she wants to play.

Oh kiss me and do stay
’cause sunshine’s my elixir
and you such my trickster, but

haven’t you ever liked
my clever summer banter
when on tiptoes, a sun arose ?

I know, I know no:
no sunshine in setting sun

but I’ll give you
a red rose to stay, because
I could be a final day, and

you could sit with me a time
for Heaven’s honey sunshine yes

Come be with me
and make me young

I have a gentle hand
and you a gentle soul.
No?

— Douglas Gilbert

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3 thoughts on “Ain’t (afterpost-Revision 2)

  1. Oh, I remember this edited version now, with the honeyshine and darkshine, happyshine…i loved all the different ‘shine’ words you came up with. You really are beautiful, the way your mind works…
    The ending 5 lines are new though, aren’t they? I like them. Or maybe I’m not remembering it correctly, that happens sometimes. But I’d make you young if I knew how…and you do have a gentle hand and I do have a gentle soul…

    1. Thanks. Yes, the ending 5 lines are new. Collecting and editing is taking forever and every step has more doubts…. And I feel that when it is finished it will be for nothing…. But anyway I think this time when I go out to read, I’m going to bring a stack of books because the last time nobody bought online based on a pamphlet and reference I gave them. Some might buy on the spot and I hope they are super gossips…. I am really slow to finish because finishing leads to the final defeat I suppose my subconscious is thinking and that’s why I have so much anxiety and procrastination — the sooner I finish, the sooner I’ll fail. Well, I don’t know that that’s true, but that’s the feeling.

      1. I’ll never see you as a failure…
        Even if you didn’t sell a single book, I’d still think you were amazing.
        But I see what you mean about having a stack of books on hand. People are into impulse buying. Some place like a art fair might be a good place to read at…a lot of people who like art are also into poetry and people generally show up to those artsy events with cash in hand…

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