Ain’t (r 7+)

Ain’t (R 7+)

Hell no sunshine when she’s left away signs
sorrow’s moody glow and bad omen ways

Hell no sunshine when she’s left
know no be when I am cold

I am gone and dark
no way happy lark, and
her feather has flown bereft.

Should I not be dark in sorrow’s moody glow
if she’s gone away in stolen nights too
taken sunshine days away in cloudy haze
and in maze of labyrinthine pain.

Say I know no sunshine when she’s away
left me streetlight shadows of dismay

Hell no sunshine when she’s away
know no be when I am not.

If there’d be no sunshine ever now for me
am I not so moody cool in shadow’s way.

Hell no sunshine when she remains away
sorrow’s moody glow illuminates the way, and

if she’s taken fools and done me old,
hell no sunshine ’cause she’s cold.

Ain’t no sunshine from my youth
she is young and so aloof.

If my wisdom leaves her cold
she is young and oh so bold,
hell no sunshine when I’m alone.

I know she knows she is
young and free

Wish her well and then I’ll see
oh child you will be
so happy without me

hell no sunshine
when she remains away

Doesn’t want to see me dead
would want to gallivant instead

Hell no sunshine when she’s left
know no be when I am cold, oh

Yes I know, and knowing’s divine
but I miss her every day
don’t want her distant zones, ’cause
hell no sunshine when I’m alone
and though I’m bold, I am

sending young things away
’cause I know she wants to play.

Oh kiss me and do stay
’cause sunshine’s my elixir
and you such my trickster, but

haven’t you ever liked
my clever summer banter
when on tiptoes, a sun arose ?

I know, I know no:
no sunshine in setting sun

but I’ll give you
a red rose to stay, because
I could be a final day, and

you could sit with me a time
for Heaven’s sunshine yes

— Douglas Gilbert

7 thoughts on “Ain’t (r 7+)

  1. The main problem that keeps bothering me about this is that I hope it is different enough from the song “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone” that it becomes original.

    1. I love this one. I think it’s different enough from the song, it’s similar in a couple ways but it doesn’t seem TOO similar. It’s ok to be inspired by other things, like music…
      but if you need some Sunshine, i’ll try to shine as brightly as I can for you.

      1. oooh. Everything gets an upgrade. Thanks… yeah, I guess I should look up the song again and make sure there are no 5 words the same — I think I read somewhere that if you copy 5 words that you’re in trouble with copyright but 4 or 3 is OK. Hell, I don’t know, I don’t remember. It’s all very complicated to determine what is common speech… I’m not sure… Certainly the tone and meaning is a lot different and deeper?

  2. I don’t know what the rules are for copyright stuff. I don’t think you should have to count words like ‘the’ ‘it’ ‘is’ since those are just common speech. But i do think the meaning is so much deeper and it is a lot different to the song. In a way though, this poem gets a bit confusing…you miss your sunshine, while she is away, yet you send her away. What if she doesn’t want to play and gallivant and is hurt because she feels like you don’t want her because you sent her away and never come for her, and you’re hurt because she’s gone. So no one is happy…

    1. Yes it’s a conflict because he’s too old and she’s too young and sometimes she wants to fool around with wild young things, and he wants the best for her and wants her to enjoy life — so when he sees her as his child, he wants her to play, but when he sees her as a lover, he wants her to stay.

      1. Then I suppose it’s really very sad. She doesn’t really have a choice in the matter, right? It kind of sounds like her only choices are 1) be alone or 2) fool around with wild young things who don’t love her and treat her like nothing more than a piece of meat. Neither of those two choices would be fulfilling…very sad.

    2. Oh gee, I had a revised version and I posted the wrong one. I changed a few words and eliminated any problems ( if there were any). But now that I’m thinking of it maybe I could make a further revision.

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