Little Martyr (Draft 1)

Little Martyr (Draft 1)

Oh Mommy
rockets have fallen
like you said they would

but can I please play
my video game now?

I can not breathe like
a soccer star, but
I like winning many points

Can you let me hold my toy
without me making a prayer

Everything is dark and burning.
can I have my toy now.

I am afraid I’m not holy and brave;
can you let me hold my toy

I am bleeding.
Is that OK?

Can I go out and play even if I
can’t breathe that well?
The bombs have stopped, and
my friends are waiting for me —
tell them I’m coming,
God willing.

Don’t tell them
I have a twitch

— Douglas Gilbert

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5 thoughts on “Little Martyr (Draft 1)

  1. Those poor children, I was looking at some pictures that were with an article about the chemical weapons, there was this adorable little boy crying, and people being treated and so many bodies wrapped in sheets…It is so heartbreaking, this is just horrible. I just don’t understand why they would use chemical weapons that do so much damage. There’s no way a person can fight against chemicals like that. Your poem is very good though, makes the same sadness well up inside as those pictures did.

  2. I wanted to add more to my comment, i read it back and realized that it was more of an emotional reply to what happened. I wanted to say that you wrote the little boy perfectly. That’s exactly how I think a child would be in that situation, still wanting to play their game and hold their toys, worried what their friends might think about the twitch. I feel so bad for all those people and their families…

    1. Thanks. I don’t know how to go further with this. I wrote down something quickly, but I’m not at all sure about the details because I don’t think I was paying enough attention to the news or they didn’t make it clear what exactly they were showing.

    2. Well, yeah, I understand, I made an emotional reaction poem without waiting to try to find some details. It makes me uncomfortable to be so vague, but I wanted to say something.

  3. hmm…well, i’m not really sure you need to go further, I think it’s very powerful as it is. Your narrator is the child and you’ve done an excellent job with it. Children don’t completely understand things like war and fighting, that’s something that they learn as they age. They’re innocent and most of the littlest ones probably don’t even really understand what happened to them, they just know they hurt. I read something saying that the gas was heavy and sank and that a lot of people who tried to take shelter in basements died because they were exposed to heavier concentrations of it. It’s sad…a lot of people probably thought the basements were a safer place for them and their families.

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