Happy Poem (Longest poem on record)

Longest Poem on Record for the English Language

You

— Douglas Gilbert

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7 thoughts on “Happy Poem (Longest poem on record)

  1. This is quite the masterpiece…i felt happier just reading it, because i thought of you. It was kind of long though, i had to give my eyes a break and get a cup of coffee about halfway through (giggling…j/k).

    1. Thanks. I edited it somewhat from the 100,000 page version. I like personal pro-nouns. The Guinness Book of World Records hasn’t answered my phone call yet. They’re still reading. I guess they’re slow readers, but that’s OK.

      1. Yep, that’s it, they’re just slow readers, hehe…oh that reminds me of this article i saw where someone returned a library book after 41 years. It was a book about snakes and they returned it with a 291.00 fee (calculated at 2 cents a day) and a note where they apologized for it being so overdue and that they were a really slow reader. I’m not quite sure how that made the front page of yahoo news though, must’ve been a slow news day…

    2. I think they were trying to desensitize themselves from their fear of snakes and so they had to read very slowly as each page created a panic attack. They probably had to change strategy and only read one word per day. But it’s a miracle that after 41 years that they finally became a vet and that even after being bitten by a snake, going to the emergency room, receiving an anti-venom antibody, and recovering, that they passed their final exam for the vet’s license. I remember hearing about a person who got bitten by several poisonous snakes and managed to survive although he came very near death. His body developed anti-bodies against the poisons and so they would fly him around the country so they could take blood samples and make antibodies for snake bite victims. This was many years ago, but I remember how weird it sounded that they had to fly this guy around the country to make anti-venom from his blood when someone got bitten. He was one of the few people to survive multiple bites.

      1. That is a miracle that they were finally able to become a vet after all that. That is probably how it happened. One word a day and then taking breaks on weekends maybe? Snakes kinda freak me out…if that was me i’d probably just become a vet who didn’t work on snakes. I remember when I lived at my parents there was a snake who slithered out from under the bridge that goes across their koi pond and I was certain it was a water moccasin (because it was near the water) so i ran inside and got my camera and took a picture of it to show to my dad when he got off work. He said it was just a harmless garter snake…nothing to worry about. It was kind of similar to the time I trapped a spider under a glass and waited for him to come home. I was sure it was a brown recluse but it just ended up being a tunnel weaver spider. We looked it up on the internet. So maybe I over-reacted a little? hehe…Better safe than sorry i suppose. That’s really neat about the guy with his antibodies. I wonder what made him different or able to do that? He was pretty lucky to survive multiple bites like that…

    3. I saw something about American Indians in South America who have high levels of antibodies in their blood against the venom of deadly snakes in their area. And then I went somewhere else and somewhere else and got totally lost… and along the way, I forgot to save the references because I kept reading and asking “what does that mean?” which took me to another site where there was something else I didn’t understand… so anyway, i think now they take small amounts of venom that they milked from snakes and inject it into horses who develop antibodies against it; then they gradually increase the dose until the horse produces a large amount of antibodies against the venom which they can use to make an anti-venom medicine for people.
          The whole search process was annoying because there were a lot of unreliable sites written by amateurs who got things wrong or over-simplified. And on the other hand, there were some that were too technical and too hard to understand unless you’re already an expert in field…
          Then I found one that talks about making antivenom from DNA:
      New Anti-Venom
      And then on that page I saw a link to an article about how they reduced the speed of light to stand-still and that’s where I got totally lost.. so all those slogans from High School teachers were totally wrong again: “the speed of light is constant” Buzzer: NO WRONG — that’s an oversimplification. Speed in a vacuum under certain circumstances… and now, yikes, I have no idea what they’re doing with their experiments. Yeah, in daily life, the pip-squeak teachers’ slogans and their approximations work: 186,000 miles/second. So anytime you want to look at someone 186,000 miles away, it’s going to take a second for the light to get to your eyes and so you have to be patient– you just can’t see them instantly. Oh, yes, the woodpecker’s tongue is not that long and I don’t think the grubs can run away at the speed of light.

      1. That’s really smart to figure out how to make anti-venom from DNA…and it seems like a great discovery since by using a generic gene it is effective against more than just one species of snake. I mean, if i were bitten i probably wouldn’t be able to tell you exactly what kind of snake it was (i mean honestly, i thought a garter snake was a water moccasin, hehe). I found this part a bit disturbing though: “In recent years, big drug companies have stopped making antivenom as it is increasingly unprofitable” SO, because they aren’t going to make a good profit they just aren’t going to make it…period? Geez…it’s something people need. I can’t say i’m surprised though, I’m pretty sure those big drug companies are a little crooked.
        I’ll have to remember that next time i’m trying to look at someone 186,000 miles away. Too many oversimplifications i think. Maybe they just assume no ones going to understand or listen if they don’t oversimplify everything. I’m glad i don’t have to eat grubs for dinner…

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