I’m Really Tired (Draft 1)

I’m Really Tired

I’m really tired of Nature —
there is no nature when I close my eyes

I drift into a quiet spiral
where there are no noisy
birds or circadas or fog horns
or horns of dilemmas or
hysterical noise of impending doom

The crickets and circadas
are inarticulate, and
I have not time
for language courses
or ornithology expositions

I think the spirit has no leaves
nor bark

I’ve known happy blind people
happy deaf people, so

It must be somehow that
happiness doesn’t depend on
flowers or music

But I have never known anyone

So what would I know
except loneliness
and silence.

— Douglas Gilbert


3 thoughts on “I’m Really Tired (Draft 1)

  1. Another great poem…I was wondering where you were this week, was missing you, hope everything is ok.
    hmm…you’re right, happiness doesn’t depend on flowers and music. But my little birds do make me feel happier when i feel utterly alone and i do know the loneliness all too well. It’s hard to connect with others at times (well most of the time) but i do think you know me…poems are some of my most intimate moments…i feel shy, like i’m naked or something, every time i share a poem and i don’t let just anyone read them anymore…so i’d say you know me pretty well. The crickets and cicadas stanza made me smile…is there a language course for cricket speak? Sounds interesting. I wonder if they use their legs to talk too or if that’s just for making music?

    1. Thanks, I’m OK. Hmm, I wonder if nudists make good poets… well they have no pockets for pens, and it probably wouldn’t be that great putting a lap-top on their lap. Hmm, music itself as a language. I wonder where the line would be drawn for words or tones. I think the different bird calls are a language except that one very long melody seems to be the equivalent of just one word or two — one melody for “come here”, a different melody for “I am beautiful or strong” and another melody for “look out danger.” Gee, if they had to have a different melody for each word in this sentence, it might take hours… Although “The Flight of the Bumble Bee” almost sounds like it’s telling a story. But singing seems like inserting words on top of tones. The tones themselves are not really words… well, with the regular scale you’d be limited to 12 words. Hmm, there was that science fiction space aliens taking over on TV where the alien language sounded like bird cooing and had letters spinning in a spiral — I can’t remember the name of that show…. — OK, I got lost again; I think a was making a point. But anyway, maybe I’ll come back later.

      1. I’m glad you’re ok. hmm…well if I were a nudist (which obviously i’m not, hehe) I think i’d just use my laptop and the little pillow i always put under it. It makes the laptop sit up higher and it keeps it from getting hot on my legs. I need a new laptop, this one has been barely hanging on for about a year now. I can’t even close the screen because when I open it again it’s all messed up. Something in the wiring connection between the keyboard and the screen, i’m assuming…I just got my old netbook out to get ready for our trip and it was still getting updates when i was going to sleep but I think it’ll work out fine so i’ll be able to check in and say hello.
        It would take me all day to say anything in bird song. But i imagine it would be a very romantic language. I was looking up owl calls, trying to figure out what kind I keep hearing near my house. This website called all about birds actually has different recordings of different songs, here listen, the little goldfinches i like to feed have lovely songs and calls: http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/american_goldfinch/sounds I never did figure out what kind of owl that was though…
        Ok, i’m up early because i’m supposed to be finishing packing and getting dressed so i better go…talk to ya later!

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