oh gee, this is the second one I started in a new genre and i can’t seem to get it right

Broken Dark Things

I know you’ve been seeing
that flashy vile thing:
he’s a rag on the road, and I’ve
got a fine ramming car.

Fast, fast, fast.
Dead, dead, dead.
Yeah, over the edge, woman.

Oh you dirty down broken woman
you betrayed me so bad
made cry so hard, oh damn

hell I broke my only hope cup
smashed it in shaving mirror
’cause I’m looking at ugly

gonna get that vile thing
you’ve been seeing, even
if it’s fine looking to you

oh hell breaking, can’t be braking
for no cliff

and I’ll be racing to throw that
dead damn bloody rag over the edge

Hell broke my only hope cup
dark whisker shadows
looking ugly, and gonna
ram it ugly, uh, you know what

it must be hell’s whisker shadows
if you’d laugh with another damn
broken down vile thing

it’s gonna die, broken woman…hey;
know what I mean?

Oh you pretty bitty broken woman
you betrayed me so badly
made me cry so hard, oh damn

hell I broke my only hope cup

hell you don’t know no better
than be broken and so am I
broken and betrayed many times

Gonna get that vile handsome rag
you patch on yourself
all hot and dirty

Oh you dirty down broken woman
you betrayed me so bad
made cry so hard, oh damn

yeah, OK, broken woman
go fix yourself
with that vile thing

yeah if that’s your thing
OK

Hell I’m going to Shardsville,
know a woman who’ll
put me in stitches
knows the joke
about being broke

oh broken hearted woman
go fix yourself

I’m going away
to mend myself in Shardsville
where crying is beautiful
and a cup of love is free
—————–
Pits

Heard not to pull the pin
until you’re ready
to pine like a pineapple

Fruit is fickle:
some sweet
some sour
some explosive

Pulling stems from cherries
too many pits to spit, this fruitless day
and her red sweet self
doesn’t blossom here

Blossoms in red dress
let their petals be blown
when leaving seems ripe

Waiting for cherries
without pitfalls
too many pits to spit,
pulling stems from cherries
about to explode
—-
oh gee, I don’t know if I posted this before or put it on the trash heap

STABLE

Oh babe we run run run
fields for streaking wild

ground and sky are
dancing me wild
and you jump so high

oh filly, rain or shine
these steady joys with you
are thunder, wonder why

you wildly boom my heart
wow pound pound pound
these steady joys with you

oh babe you stable my joy
running wild in the field, ’cause

freedom side by side
is a wild run, and while
steady is the caressing wind
steady the joy to gallop
wildness is savage joy

— Douglas Gilbert

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2 thoughts on “oh gee, this is the second one I started in a new genre and i can’t seem to get it right

  1. I have cup of love or two for you – anytime you’d like it, just come on over. I may even have an extra hope cup i could spare too – I know I have some tissues and a kiss that can cure most tears.
    but wow what an emotional poem. I can relate though, it hurts to be broken and betrayed and that’s probably the main reason i’m still single. I just honestly don’t wanna put myself through that pain again. Sometimes the loneliness starts to be too much though…
    I like your pits poem too, i recently discovered that i love cherry flavored yogurt. I always thought i was a peaches or strawberry only type girl, but i was wrong. Cherries and blueberry flavored are delicious as well. I bought a red dress last year that i’ve never worn. It’s pretty, but too nice to just wear around town leisurely, like to the gas station and the grocery store, unless I wanna match the cherries in the produce section, that is. Speaking of cherries, I never have gotten to eat that bowl of cherries with my bluebird…
    No, I don’t think you have posted the Stable poem, well at least I’ve never seen it and I think i’ve read most everything you’ve put on here. It’s great, I loved this stanza :
    “you wildly boom my heart
    wow pound pound pound
    these steady joys with you”
    Well, the whole poem has a energetic, wildness to it that made me smile…

    1. Thanks. OK, I’m starting on replies — I’ve started drifting through the comments, bottom up or is it top down, but anyway, they’re all wonderful to hear. I looked through them all and enjoyed hearing them(as I imagine it).
          I was listening to a website where I can listen to samples of music. I don’t know the names of anybody so I was drifting through categories. No matter who it is it seems like I only like certain songs and I don’t have much patience for ones I don’t like. So it’s very frustrating because I like stuff from all categories but only a few from each. I listen to 20 and like 2. I listened to some blues, some old and some new and was trying to pick up on some of the feeling. You can get a lot of emotion from it but some of the lyrics are really vague and shallow so I can’t figure out how to work with it.
          In the “stable” poem I’m having a problem because I want to use the concepts of stable and unstable as adjectives in a pun with stable as a place or barn. In “oh babe you stable my joy, running wild in the field, ’cause…” it really should be ” you stabilize my joy” as far as meaning but that ruins the pun — I don’t mean to have anyone stuck in the barn. So I have to rearrange things so it doesn’t require a verb form and somehow use nouns.
          Wow I bet if the grocery store hired you in your pretty red dress to dance in the produce section and sing the blues, you could help them sell a lot of cherries and blueberries. But I suppose that would be more exhausting after a while than selling cockles and mussels, though I suppose they could hide a little chair between the shelves so you could relax and eat all the cherries you want. Well, maybe not — I’ve heard groceries don’t pay much because they have a low mark up. But maybe a local radio station could be a sponsor…

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