Foamy Dream (Draft 3)

Foamy Dream (Draft 3)

There is an ocean at dawn
that skirts the night tides
crashing swirls and sea birds

There is a froth to morning dreams.

I’ve been staring at foam in my coffee
remembering the ocean starring in ending rain
a conjured dream of frothy us, stars
beneath an oceanic drink of dawn

It was
coffee boiling hot for
the exigency of a dream, and

when from the freezer I plunged
an ice berg scoop of ice cream in it
the titanic foam made giggle bubbles
that speak of the dream when
you laughed your dainty blessing,
so pretty your voice, your smile in
the swirl of your skirt like a current
or maybe I just imagine such formality
like the majestic blue of the ocean at sunrise
because you know I don’t mind your bikini too,
love the virtues of shallow laughter-water,
know that the splash and the play
do pull tides from the deep imagination

I can be hot
to be cool

and we sat on the white sand
under the silly white umbrella we had borrowed
not imagining rain on our white beach, where we thought
if only sunshine would be in the heart then joy rises

for sunrise at the beach is
a glistening foam
silver crests
deep blues
an orange glow
and ice cream foam

and I dream of you
with fireworks in the sky

maybe I imagine love
blue and foamy
silvery crested

— Douglas Gilbert


8 thoughts on “Foamy Dream (Draft 3)

  1. I love all the changes – I thought it was perfect before and then you come along, work on it some more and make it even more perfect. The new lines in the beginning sets the scene perfectly, leading the way for staring at the foam and the rest of the poem. The skirts and swirls in the first stanza beautifully compliments the “swirl of your skirt” later on. I like the change from stare to staring. I also love the ‘frothy us’ and ‘stars beneath an oceanic drink of dawn’. it’s wonderful, i love…

    1. Thanks very much. I was wondering if it would work out. There were so many things that didn’t seem right or weren’t clear and I was wondering how I liked it in its earlier draft. I was thinking that things I imagine when reading it are not necessarily on the paper for other people… But then I made so many changes and was worried… Well, yes, thanks, I do think it preserved some hint-y things but did clarify a few others. When I went searching through the dictionary to check my spelling which is always in danger of confusing forms, I found “to stare” and “to star” interesting. I think I still sometimes get confused with the double rule for preserving the correct sound. The single “r” for stare and staring. And the double “rr” for “star” and “starring”.

      1. Yeah, I liked your usage of “staring” and “starring”. I think I meant to say something about it but I forgot. Just be careful and don’t trip on the stairs when you stare at the stars. (hehe) i know, corny, right?

    2. Oh yeah, good interesting catch of another “air” sound things. Yeah, staring at stairs to the stars. Hmm, why worry when on the stairs to the stars about the stares. One’s ego in a starring role could trip on fans’ and detractor’s stares climbing the stairs to the stars that only stars are allowed, but all that is just special effects and Star Trek is an ego thing mostly except for that “Deep Space Nine” version I think it was, where for awhile they had religious themes. Oh geez, too many steps. I think I’ll take the elevator.

    3. The architect fretted the stares at his elegant stairs. Starred in a movie about fans staring at stars, falling in love under them and under those celestial ones. Everyone climbing, everyone falling. Alien visitors from the stars visit Hollywood: Stares, stairs, and stars staring, the Sequel.

      1. (giggling) I love it….you’ve got the best wordplay ever, it’s like a riddle. If I had a trophy to give, it would already be yours.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.