Foamy Dream (Draft 2)

Foamy Dream (Draft 2)

There is an ocean at dawn
that skirts the night tides
crashing swirls and sea birds

There is a froth to morning dreams.

I’ve been staring at foam in my coffee
remembering the ocean starring in the rain
a conjured dream of frothy us, stars
beneath an oceanic drink of dawn

It was
coffee boiling hot for
the exigency of a dream, and

when from the freezer I plunged
an ice berg scoop of ice cream in it
the titanic foam made giggle bubbles
that speak of the dream when
you laughed your dainty blessing,
so pretty your voice, your smile in
the swirl of your skirt like a current
or maybe I just imagine such formality
like the majestic blue of the ocean at sunrise
because you know I don’t mind your bikini too,
love the virtues of shallow laughter-water,
know that the splash and the play
do pull tides from the deep imagination

I can be hot
to be cool

and we sat on the white sand
under the silly white umbrella we had borrowed
not imagining rain on our white beach, where we thought
if only sunshine would be in the heart then joy rises

for sunrise at the beach is
a glistening foam
silver crests
deep blues
an orange glow
and ice cream foam

and I dream of you
with fireworks in the sky

maybe I imagine love
blue and foamy
silvery crested

— Douglas Gilbert

6 thoughts on “Foamy Dream (Draft 2)

  1. Oh geez the rain is a problem. The rest doesn’t make sense with that. So I think “ending rain” would work to let the rest flourish.

    1. I agree…i think the “ending rain” works better too. I actually had your poem open in two different windows comparing the different drafts. It’s neat to see how they change and imagine the thought processes you might’ve used…

      1. hmm, yes, somehow I wanted the umbrella but not the rain. I guess maybe the first draft is like an outline or quickly putting down notions of something before it gets so painful that I throw it away or don’t write it at all. It’s hard starting when it seems so bad at the beginning… I guess the scraps on the plate don’t become trash unless I throw them in the garbage before I’ve had a chance to add some spices and re-heat the meal but sometimes ground rosemary and sage taste like sawdust…(I got this ground rosemary powder and put some on my tongue and I’ve never been able to imagine how to use it… I can’t recognize a “style” for it and I can’t say what it’s like…)

  2. I think even your first drafts are beautiful. I honestly doubt that you’ve ever written anything that is truly bad, but if you say so, i’ll believe you. I have trouble even starting poems lately. It’s like I can’t even get a good first line. I think the problem is that i’m draining a lot of my creative energy by trying to burn my excess physical (or hyperactive type) energy. I dance around the living room juggling my sticks after I do my yoga and that usually is a great outlet for me. But i think it also exhausts me in other ways and i’m getting no where in the creative writing. I’ve thought about making a video, i could show you what I’m talking about but i’d probably just completely embarrass myself (ha!). You’d be like ‘this girl is even sillier than i ever imagined’.
    My mom used to have a rosemary plant in her kitchen in a pot and several years ago at thanksgiving she was chopping up little pieces of it to put on the turkey and my son was like “Gammy, WHY are you putting grass on our turkey?!?!”. She explained to him that it wasn’t grass, it was an herb, but he still looked at it kind of funny for the rest of the day.

    1. I like running and dancing and giggling girls — I love enthusiasm on the move, any move. Wonderful to watch. But I’m not sure I understand: if you eat yogurt while you’re juggling sticks, I think you might drop them and that could be a sticky thing.
          Hmm, I should try my Rosemary powder on chicken and see what happens…. Ooops, I might have thrown it away…ut oh, I guess I should have saved it. Yeah, I guess I shouldn’t have judged it by tasting it directly on my tongue. I suppose that works only with some spices where you can imagine how it would taste with other things.
          People’s perceptions are odd if they haven’t cooked for themselves. Geez, I got caught once putting basil on a slice of tomato and topping it with cheddar cheese and broiling it on bread and they acted like it was poison or exotic. I pulled a tomato sauce jar off their shelf and said read the ingredients: tomato, basil, oregano etc. I mean it’s nuts that stuff from the supermarket is sacrosanct and sprinkling spices off the shelf is excessive….

      1. Oops, I knew there was more I didn’t finish replying to.
        (giggling) Yeah, I’m not THAT great of a multi-tasker, I’m not sure that eating yogurt and juggling at the same time is a good idea. Sounds like it could get quite messy. Sticky sticks in a sticky glob of yogurt spilled out across the wood floor. But, maybe you could give me a couple of good dancing song ideas and maybe I’ll come up with a surprise for you sometime? It might just make up for my lack of creative output in the writing department lately.
        I’m still learning how to use spices. I’ve bought several that I use in certain recipes that were concocted by other people but I haven’t quite figured out what to add to dishes on my own yet. It always feels sort of adventurous in a way. I don’t think sprinkling spices from the shelf is excessive though, i love adding oregano and freshly ground pepper to sandwiches to just kick it up a notch. And I’ve learned that a simple mixture of mayo with dill weed is even tastier than tarter sauce, so I guess that is a start…

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