When Daydreams Fall Asleep (Draft 1)

[Inspired by Confession by Dandegirl]

When Day Dreams Fall Asleep (Draft 1)

Into the spiral of sleep, I drifted into
a light of remembrance of a day:
a conversation with you when
a mutual understanding
made us fall into
a silent space amorphous
like the darkness of night
that has its dream light

Drifting, I saw you caress yourself
like a conversation of body-knowing hymn
in the space amorphous glowing in my smile

— Douglas Gilbert

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2 thoughts on “When Daydreams Fall Asleep (Draft 1)

    1. I don’t think it’s awkward, i think it’s absolutely beautiful. The “spiral of sleep” is great. I did blush a little bit at the “caress yourself”. I love the ending three lines, i like “body knowing hymn” and “space amorphous”, i didn’t know what amorphous meant and had to look it up but now that i know i think it fits perfectly. I love to glow in your smile…

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