Notes on a first draft of tentative ” Little Girls in a Game House ” (Ramble 1)

Notes on a first draft: tentative title, Little Girls In A Game House

Notes on a first draft of tentative ” Little Girls in a Game House ”

Little Girls in a Game House

They had an automated house
with robots of many shapes and shades
that cleaned, and cooked, and played
but they were a little stressed ’cause
they had fertile thoughts and 12 girls

Mommy and Daddy worked a lot
and let the teen girls supervise

The teens made
the vacuum robot
operate like a tank

and the toy helicopters and drones
watched over the little ones….

… …     [OK, I’ve started this. I don’t know if I want to finish it. I see it as a war allegory with four groups of kids representing “ethnic groups” with the teens as the tyrants and dictators, and with the parents not wanting to interfere. Do they supply “weapons” to the younger children? How does the war end etc.]
      [This might be impossible. I not sure which concepts to incorporate — “the fair fight fallacy(which I haven’t defined yet), the motivations of the different ethnic or religious groups(kids have rituals), and maintaining a “balance of power”. The parents are the reluctant outside force observing the conflict etc.]
      [(this is an exercise for trying (again) to start my concept language project. It’s giving me an inner silent headache. Ugh — every time I start I get lost…]

— Douglas Gilbert

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2 thoughts on “Notes on a first draft of tentative ” Little Girls in a Game House ” (Ramble 1)

  1. I think it sounds good, very interesting. An automated house sounds pretty cool. There’s so much you could incorporate into the poem – kids do such different things at random ages through life. i could see how it might give you a headache. I’ve been getting headaches a lot lately, i’m actually thinking about going to the doctor for them soon. I’m pretty sure they’re migraines, i get weird flashing lines at the side of my vision when it’s first coming on and the headache doesn’t go away with tylenol or advil…then it lasts a long time…i had one show up around noon today on the way to take my kiddo to see a movie and i still have it now…i probably need to have my vision checked too, maybe i need reading glasses. Anyway enough going on about my headaches! Good luck with your poem. It’s a great idea. In a way it vaguely reminds me of Lord of the Flies. Wasn’t that about boys on an island? Oh what is a concept language project? That sounds pretty interesting too…

    1. Yikes, I hope it’s not migraines, ’cause then they go through the list of possible triggers (even chocolate and other vague diet things). But anyway, headaches can be lots of things and the doctor might find something simple like too many frogs in your dresser draws and might recommend a prince with a shallot and a jalapeño pepper or something. Yeah, I thought of the Lord of the Flies. I’m thinking of coalitions: The ballerinas and the acrobats, the Princesses and Scientists. Foreign allies: Robotics teacher, cousins… The revolution started with the attack on the doll house by the tanks… I’m lost on where to start….

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