Snerd Lee Limbaugh, Poet Laureate to the world

World’s Only Poet Laureate

The ugly world has leaders
trained at Harvard, Yale, and Oxford
dictators and democrats
native born and foreign

Chaos thanks all laureates
as does Bacchus,
the Devil, and Poetesses in waiting

Let the poem have horns
sour lemonade
dilemmas, Sturm und Drang

The poetess asks me to
rhyme with orgasm
thrust a rhythm
ejaculate a verse for
Motherhood, honor, and
a professorship at Oxford, but

I am poet laureate
by default because
the fault is with the Stars
and with Brutus Cabals
in a brutal world
made by elites who
are rich by gold
poor by morals
educated by parties
who fail to see
the poets on the street
banks of angst
derivatives of glory
with interest
— Snerd Lee Limbaugh

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Short Stuff by Douglas Gilbert, “Wait On Me”

Dying Child’s Lament

Future
I have none:
I was to be

Read to me
my love note–
I am cold in snow away

Could
I live ’till summer, please–
I’m afraid of heaven
for Mom ran me
away to a cheaper
place with a note

She
promised to come in summer
and no one loves me

If
she won’t come in time
no one in heaven will love me either

Best
toy with me
I will have, if
a mystery is solved

End
me up
high enough
to reach a kiss

See you
again
will I?
would you
love me like a kiss
from heaven
reaching

Mommy
doesn’t love me any more, but
read me please
my love note again, and
I will close my eyes forever

—Douglas Gilbert

Books by Douglas Gilbert

Almost Short Stuff by Douglas Gilbert , “Burma Beneath Mount Myanmar”

Burma Beneath Mount Myanmar

The generals nullify humility.
They proclaim:
We are the gods who

bring typhoons, keep out
the evil West. Let
the monks not in prison
the supposed holy
save their people.

We challenge their magic, because
we have the weapons, the Chinese,
the name change

We don’t mind the joke
of a Nobel Peace Prize for
Daw Aung San Suu Kyi
because we are the gods, and
monks are Burmese shamen on their knees
arrested at will, orange slices

Could be an outlaw of Yeats
has swum across the lake
to see the elected leader
Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, or
it might be a crazy American
who thinks Myanmar is Burma, and
magic
ref: New York Times, May 8, 2009, “World Briefing: Myanmar: U.S. Man Held In Swim To Dissident’s Home,”pg.A13.

—Douglas Gilbert

Books by Douglas Gilbert

Breathing In The Age of Swine Flu

Contagion Cap And Trade

   Because the icebergs of fear are melting rapidly, the World Stealth Organization has proposed limits on breathing. Human exhaling raises the level of carbon dioxide and is the main vector of virus disease. All patrons of gyms will be required to obtain Exhale Credits from sedentary people who stay indoors.
   A cap on breathing will be proposed at the next meeting in Geneva on July 4. However, it is recommended that all sedentary people of the hermit class apply for their Certification of Small Mouth Print now. Once that is done, they can write Carbon & Contagion Contracts that can be traded on the stock exchange. These securities can be bought by any person wishing to exercise to offset their Carbon & Contagion Mouth & Foot Print.
— Snerd Lee Limbaugh