Swine Flu Precautions

PRECAUTIONS DURING THE SWINE FLU CRISIS

Precaution 01: If someone is about to sneeze on you, wash his feet.

Precaution 02: If you see a pig on the street, slaughter it before it sneezes, and make bacon. If you see Buddha, let him go.

Precaution 03: Don’t kiss a swine even if he’s your boss. You shouldn’t raise ducks, chickens, and pigs together in your office.

Precaution 04: Always teach your pet pig American sign language so he can tell you how he feels.

Precaution 05: Use a mask certified to stop viruses when robbing an infected bank

Precautions 06: If you are meditating on a mountain, stay there, unless the Guru has a fever.

Precautions 07: If you put lipstick on a pig, don’t kiss it.

#Precaution 08: Some of my best fiends are swine, but I don’t keep them close anymore (“keep friends close,enemies closer”)

#Precaution 09: “Chacun à son goût,” but only taste yourself after washing your hands, and you can have your cake if the chef didn’t lick the spoon.

#Precaution 10: If you feel sick, stay at home without having a party or a parade in the hallway.

#Precaution 11: If you must travel, take a private plane, and don’t let Congress see you sweat.

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2 thoughts on “Swine Flu Precautions

  1. Thanks for the feedback. I needed to know if it was humorous — it was hard to tell just writing it out,making disjointed cross-metaphors,stopping the usual train of thought from staying on the tracks.

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