Shopping For Bananas

Shopping For Bananas

Laid off and walking,
watching the birds.
Supposed to be shopping.

Usually I bring my wife
a hard banana, and
she ripens it for me, but
not today.

A tilt I have into the wind
a lean on the buffeting force
that holds the gull suspended,
its eyes asking why
I don’t fly.

Without a sail, I’d
rather walk than
have feathers

But I could use a wing up when
blown backward by class envy.

I built small planes
for a hated tycoon who
flew before the Congress.

Now I am laid off
for conspicuous buzz.
I’ve bought a few books
for my new look, but
I’m too busy
to shop
for a banana.

I’ve been studying genetics, ‘though my
school abilities were pathetic, but I’m

willing to try my hand
for my family’s survival. I’m
joining the bandwagon, hopping
on the stimulus train hoping
there’s money where I’m going.

Good news! I’ve got
a job cleaning the cages
of a researcher’s mice,

nice to research the genetics of
the Pelosi Swamp Mouse.

Hurray. Save the mouse!
At least they can’t fly, and
we’ve a government grant.

Interesting work:
I label each mouse
by painting its ear
forbidden to call it
an earmark.

At the bottom of the treadmill,
they won’t
tell me much. I’m
running in circles
without a raise or a buzz.
They’ve made

a mutation mouse, Mickey 22XFS
a secret endangered species
to be released with pay.

My wife’s got
a secret recipe for
my banana bread,
says get a promotion
or we’re dead.

I’ve overheard.

I’ve decided on blackmail, but
we’ll have to move somewhere
near a Banana Republic.

I could tell the public they’ll be
releasing Mickey 22XFS
an endangered species actor,
onto a farm as a blocking factor.

My wife says ask for money,
tell the story of what they’ll say:

Too little water in California.
Don’t let the farmer kill the poor mouse.
Stop the farming, save the water.

Save poor Mickey
Experimental Farm Stopper Species
’cause he’s got a grant, and he’ll be
released with pay.

I’ve brought my wife a hard banana.
She’s pleased to be in paradise with me, ’cause
as they say, “man does not live by banana bread alone.”
— Snerd Lee Limbaugh

~~ Banana Bread ~~
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup soft butter
2 eggs

1-1/3 cups mashed ripe bananas
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. rum
1 tsp. milk

2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. nutmeg

1. Turn on an oven and set to 350 degrees F. Grease a 9x5x3 inch loaf pan and store in refrigerator to be used later.
2. While dancing the merengue, hold a large bowl. In the bowl, mash the butter into the sugar and stir and stroke until it’s smooth and fluffy like a meringue cloud. Keeping to the beat, beat in the eggs, but don’t forget to crack them open first and don’t include the shells.
3. Rest a moment for the hard part. You may have to stop dancing.
4. In a bowl to your left, stir together the mashed bananas, vanilla, rum, and milk
5. In a bowl to your right, mix flour, salt, nutmeg, and baking soda.
6. Begin dancing again.
7. On the down beat, blend some flour mixture from the right bowl into the large bowl.
8. On the up beat, blend in some of the banana mixture from the left bowl.
9. Continue alternating until you sweat.
10. Do a spin and turn the mixture into the loaf pan.
11. Bake in oven for 1-1/4 hours. Shake your hands to prevent cramps.
12. Using a pot holder or oven gloves, dance the pan out of the oven.
12. Cool for 15 minutes in pan.
13. Dump it out.
14. Cool off.

— Snerd Lee Limbaugh


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